There are few things as satisfying to me as seeing paper filled with heartfelt words in ink. Dragging a rollerball pen across carefully chosen stationary, watching the ink spread and becoming lines of beautiful sentiments seems to have fallen out of practice. Putting thoughts to paper shows intention in a world so consumed with technology and the convenience of digital communication. It gives you something physical to hold that you can revisit endlessly and find new meaning with every read…a testament to the timeless power of words. In my twenty-one years of life, I have learned that one of the most meaningful gifts we can give is a letter.
Pen Pals
I wrote, folded, and packed my first letter in junior high as a cliche assignment to write a letter to my future self. I had no idea how much that future girl would love letters and the mindfulness of sitting with my thoughts and gathering my words. My Nan, my grandmother on my mother’s side, and I decided we would become weekly pen pals. Although we only lived an hour apart, every Tuesday we mailed a letter to each other. Around Thursday, I was always walking with anticipation to the mailbox to find the gift of my letter! She would tuck extra treasures in it like Bible verses, newspaper cartoons, or stickers. It felt like getting a hug despite the distance. I have saved them, and her unmistakable handwriting stirs many memories I might have otherwise forgotten. They serve as a reminder of how much she loves me by the intentional effort she made. As we get older, we grow out of many things, but writing can always grow with us.
The Boy with the Bright Smile
When I was younger, I met a beautiful boy with dark chocolate hair and eyes that radiated kindness. Camron had the brightest smile I had ever seen, which eventually illuminated my world in a way I will never forget. Years later, after we had grown up, those two kids found their way into each other’s hearts and shared an extraordinary love that was both profoundly deep yet whimsical all at the same time. We became the best of friends and created the deepest bond. I learned the importance of sharing the words in my heart through the tragic loss of Cam in an accident in 2023.
Letter Writing as a Means to Work Through Grief
One of the most significant ways God has carried me through the anguish of losing Camron is by writing my feelings to him daily. Little did I know that years of letter writing to my Nan would become the very practice that has helped me through my grief. I have filled three journals! When he was alive, conveying my love for him felt impossible because words just seemed insufficient. Now, I wish every day that I could hand him these journals to read. I have learned that sometimes, the most beautiful writing comes from the most painful parts of life.
Healing and Hydrangeas
Even in the absence of words, when I am deep in my grief and unable to truly describe what I feel, I am thankful for the omnipotent, healing power of God. Pray. Be still. He knows the words- He is the very Creator of them. He also knows our hearts when we struggle to make sense of what is inside. When Cam and I would dream of a life together, we always said we would have white hydrangeas in the front flower beds of our home. Although this now looks much different than I once thought, I have taken white hydrangeas and read from the three journals at every graveside visit.
A Challenge to Correspond
Each pen stroke can bring a moment of calm reflection towards therapeutic healing, even if you don’t mail them. Keep the art of letter writing alive. Grab your favorite pen and paper and write to someone you love, God…or yourself! My Nan and I have always had a little saying that goes, “Guess what? I’m gonna keep you!” Although I didn’t get to keep my sweet Cam, I will always keep these letters.
Rylee Bass is a college student at Baylor University majoring in psychology with the intent of helping others work through grief through the power of prayer and writing.
To Camron Ray…
I may be the writer, but you will always be the reason for the words.
Love, Rylee
